Heartfelt Ramblings

I find myself in a bit of an awkward position. I have a part time job that I do really enjoy. It's by no means because of the food. The food is pub fare and to be honest not really all that stunning. There are so many little things the owners could do to improve the quality of the current menu without having to change prices it astounds me. I do have to give them a chance it has only been a month or so since the owners took ownership and they are still trying to get their feet under them so I will let it ride for now.

The staff and owners at the pub are super friendly and gregarious. It's hard not to like them, my dilemma comes in that I have accepted a full time position at Cafe Presse as night saute cook. High volume and French food, not to things that normally go together but is a truly brassiere setting. Pretty laid back service and straight forward food. It pays a bunch better than the pub and has benefits, so that it is a plus for me. No insurance is the bain of most restaurant workers.

This is the dilemma section, I don't want to give up the pub job. I would still be working less than 60 hours a week but only get one day off. That means Lydia and I get less time together, one big negative. On the other hand we are getting married in 7 months and that is really pricey. Plus our landlord has informed us he wants to sell the condo. So now we have to look for a house, we don't really want to move into another rental, so that is another chunk of cash we have to find. Now I was fairly content to work weekends at the pub and do some catering through Cochon but I wasn't able to put much cash away for either thing.

My dream of La Bocca was slowly drifting away before my eyes. I have to say and be perfectly honest I was really depressed. I have never in my life been so dependent on someone else. My parents don't count, I'm here because of them! (LOL). I was feeling adrift and very lost. I usually have my emotions in check and can control myself pretty well but I was, to be brutally honest a prick. I couldn't be nice and I really didn't want to do anything but hide in our house.

Luckily for me I have Lydia, she didn't judge or push or harp at me about what was going on. She was encouraging, told me she loved me and that we were a team and it would be alright.

The Cafe Presse job has really brightened my day. I still feel that La Bocca is a bit out of my reach but I can at least still see the prize before me. To everyone who has listened, allowed me to cook or just gave a damn about me I say thanks. Hopefully good things will come to he who waits.

We shall see and I will try to blog or tweet a little more often. Thanks for listening- P